Title: DREAMSICLE (Nourishment 2.12)
Author: Janet F. Caires-Lesgold
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Archive: Mailing list archives only--others please ask permission!
Category: Story, angst, Clark POV
Spoilers: Post-ep for "Rush"
Rating: NC-17 for language, imagery, and sexual interaction
Pairing: Clark/Lex established relationship
Summary: A nightmare
DISCLAIMER: These characters do not belong to me. Smallville is the property of Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Tollin-Robbins Productions, and Warner Bros. Television, and based upon characters originally created by Jerome Siegel and Joe Shuster. This story is just for the entertainment of my online friends and myself, not for any profit.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story contains some possibly disturbing or offensive imagery--I mean no disrespect to anyone by my use of said symbols or pictures. The subconscious is a curious beast and often says things without thinking what they might mean to other people. Apologies in advance. The rest of "The Nourishment Series" can be found elsewhere on this archive - Enjoy!
DEDICATION: For Tiff and others.
COPYRIGHT: (C) March 31, 2003, Janet F. Caires-Lesgold, firstname.lastname@example.org
Please don't redistribute or alter this story in any way without the express permission of the author. Thank you very much.
Lex was probably really annoyed with me.
After the way I'd blown him off earlier, I couldn't blame him for giving me a wide berth in person for a little while. However, he was definitely in my thoughts.
The last time I'd had my inhibitions taken away by the red meteor rocks, I'd woken up screaming the night after my ring had been destroyed. I couldn't remember the nightmares, but fleeting, terrifying snapshots of them had floated behind my eyelids when I'd tried to go back to sleep, even with my mom's lap under my head and her cool hands stroking my hair.
Tonight, after I'd gotten back from having my peace offering rejected by Lana, I'd sat up as late as I could, exchanging stupid jokes online with Pete, forcing myself to keep my eyes focused on the text onscreen. Finally, he signed off to head for bed, with one last apology for his dumb stunt, and I was left alone. Without his input, I didn't feel awake enough to surf to gay porn sites, or even to send Lex an apologetic good-night message.
Under the influence of Pete's little red pebble, I'd thrown Lex out of the barn that afternoon, hating him for keeping me away from the caves and for pressuring me to confess why they fascinated me so. As soon as I was back to my senses, I hated myself worse for the hurtful words that had come out of my mouth. There was no way I could tell if my lover would forgive me for my outburst, so I finally crawled over to bed with images of his disappointed eyes haunting me.
As soon as my head hit the pillow, my vision greyed out, and I was asleep. However, my mind was not quiet for long...
Chloe's mouth. Chloe's lips and tongue and smile around that lollipop. Once again I was in the Torch office, the air scented with some strange guy's cologne, and Chloe's perfume, and strawberry candy. She licked her sucker, spun it on its stick between her lips, and played it with her tongue, all the while looking longingly into my eyes.
Then her gaze drifted down to my crotch, making me wonder if she had x-ray vision, too. Could she tell that my cock was getting hard as I thought of her licking me like that? Of course, my pants were so tight she didn't need to see through them--and apparently, she liked whatever she saw. "Wanna suck?" she purred, somehow speaking around the lollipop.
"What?" I fumbled out, starting to back toward the door.
"Wanna ffffffssssssuck?" she repeated, the impediment of the candy garbling her consonant on purpose.
"NO!" I squawked, even though I really wanted whatever she was offering. My legs moved me slowly backwards, away from her siren's eyes and inviting mouth, until something stopped me.
Hands on my shoulders. Strong, careful, agile, pressing down on me, pulling me away, turning me around.
"Lex?" There he was, like he was supposed to be in the hallway of Smallville High.
"You don't want that," he said clearly, smiling subtly as only Lex could.
"Why not?" I asked, genuinely wondering why I wouldn't want her. I could remember how it felt that afternoon to kiss her like there was nothing better in the world to do, to hold her in my arms and press my clothed erection against her soft little stomach.
"She wants too much," he whispered into my ear.
"Doesn't she just want me to fuck her?" I replied, mystified.
"No--she wants you to trust her. She wants to know everything there is to know about you. She wants you vulnerable, so you'll tell her all of your secrets."
I was going to protest that he was wrong, but when I turned back to the office, Chloe was gone.
For that matter, the couch was gone, the office was gone, and the school was gone. Lex and I stood in a cow pasture, and though I could hear quiet moos in the background, I couldn't see any cows.
"Does anyone know all your secrets?" he cajoled, his grin broad and friendly.
"No--no one," I lied.
Immediately, he began to laugh, and the sound rose up and became louder and more mechanical until it became the noise of a car engine. A sleek silver foreign car came speeding up out of my peripheral vision, making me feint toward pushing Lex out of the way, but he wasn't there. The car stopped before me, raising a cloud of dust from the pasture, and the driver's side door opened.
"Lex?" I began, but the driver wasn't Lex.
"Clark!" Pete climbed out of the low-to-the-ground car, dressed like a chauffeur. "My best buddy! What's jumpin'?"
"Why are you here?" I asked stupidly. "Where's Lex?"
His smile grew as wicked as it had been when the parasite was affecting his judgement. "All the time, you're talking about Lex. A guy might think you love him or something." I started to argue that I did, but he cut me off. "He doesn't know anything about you. I know everything, Clark. We're family. You trust me."
Just under my breath, I muttered, "No, I don't. Not after today, I don't..."
"What's that, buddy?" Pete interjected. "You have to trust me. I know what can hurt you, don't I?" He started to reach into a pocket for something bulky, but the shiny brass buttons and gold braid on his chauffeur's uniform started to hum and glow. Though neither of us moved from where we stood, somehow the perspective shifted, and suddenly, I was looking down on Pete as if he were far away.
As he shrank before my eyes, his ears grew large and round, and he sprouted a long, skinny tail. At once, he was no longer Pete at all, but an organ grinder's monkey, like the one I'd seen at the circus when I was little. The monkey still chattered away in Pete's voice, however, and he opened the container that he'd pulled out of his pocket.
"See!" he squealed. "It's a meteor rock!" Fortunately, the pebble in his container was too tiny to see, and I wasn't even sure it was green. "I can control you!" He laughed insanely, but now he was just a noisy little monkey I could easily ignore, and to get away from his high-pitched voice, I moved away from him and went to the barn, which was right there all of a sudden.
The screeches of the little monkey faded from my hearing as I stepped inside the familiar barn, which was filled with weird, almost blinding light. For a second, I worried that the hay was on fire, but the light was too pure, too perfectly white for that to be the case. I looked around for the source, and spotted my parents crouching in the straw on the floor.
"Mom? Dad?" I called to them, ignoring their strange clothes while noting that I could see the light pouring from a trough before them.
They looked up, and smiled at me warmly, but said nothing.
"You have got to be kidding," a voice behind me said.
"Lex, there you are!" I welcomed him, my hand snaking back to take his without looking. "What do you think is going on?"
"I didn't think your parents thought that highly of you," he snarked.
"Why? What do you mean?"
"Then again, they do kind of treat you like a gift from God. Can I just say I'm envious?"
I couldn't help snickering at him. "The word 'miracle' has been tossed around..."
"Yeah, but that's ridiculous," he added. "Look at that hat your mother's wearing."
My mother never wore hats. I stared. "A halo?"
"Lemme guess. They're not auditioning for the live Nativity at church this Christmas."
With some suspicion, I tried to look into the trough on the ground, but the light hurt my eyes a little. "Do you think that's supposed to be me?" I asked, horrified at the implications of it.
"No," he answered, nodding politely at my transformed parents. "You're here. Is there something they're not telling you?"
"I'm not sure..."
My mother winked at Lex, then grinned more broadly at me. "Besides, I'm almost positive that your mother is no virgin."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I challenged him, turning to face him, but when I blinked, he was gone again.
I turned back to the Biblical tableau, or rather, where the tableau had been, because once again the scene had shifted. Now my dad had vanished entirely, and the costume my mother had been wearing was now worn by Lana. She knelt on the ground, looking very small in her blue robes with the halo glowing bravely behind her head.
Moving in front of her, I found myself asking, "Are you a virgin?"
Her hands, which had been folded before her as if in prayer, released each other and moved to the dirt floor beneath her. Her bowed head tipped up to me gradually, her dark eyes drinking in every inch of me as she gazed her way up my body seductively. When her glance fell upon my face at last, she smiled slowly and sexily, saying, "See for yourself."
Pushing herself off from the ground, she lifted her knees and rolled backward gently to rest her head on the grass, whereupon I noticed we were outdoors again. Grasping the fabric of her robe, she lay back and tugged up gradually, first revealing the tiny white cheerleader sneakers on her feet. The hem grazed her bare legs an inch at a time, and my heart raced as it got closer to their juncture.
When her outfit was bunched at her waist, I regarded the place where I expected to see a little patch of hair between her legs. Surprisingly, her body was bare and naked like a baby's, so I looked to her face for answers. "Nobody touches me here," she sighed breathily, reaching her hand to where her clit would have been. As she parted her legs, I could see that she had no folds or openings at all, but instead was smooth and closed like the crease of a Barbie doll.
At some point, I'd opened my jeans and now held my cock in my hand. "Do you want me to help you?" I asked obliquely.
Shaking her head "no" languidly, she broke her gaze from mine and looked high up above where she lay, far beyond my head. I turned to see what she was watching, only to find the scarecrow's cross towering above me, and Whitney, scarred, grimy, and wearing nothing but the green crystal necklace, fastened firmly into place on it.
His face was deathly pale, his eyes were dim, and his military haircut was askew and dirty. I could not tell at first if he was dead or a ghost, but his eyes moved to mine as soon as I recognized him.
"Kent," he addressed me with a broad smile, "I guess it's your turn."
Reaching up to him, I tried to untie the ropes binding his arms to the crossbeam, but it was beyond my grasp. I stood on tiptoe, but still couldn't quite touch it, so I tried jumping. Once I was off the ground, I lunged for the knotted rope, but it was just out of reach. Somehow I was practically hovering in front of the cross, stretching my arms around Whitney's imprisoned body, when he looked deeply into my eyes and grinned.
"I know what you want," he taunted with a wink, then raised his arms despite the ropes holding them down.
Too late, I realized what he meant to do, and began to struggle. Time started to stretch and twist then so that everything happened fast, but so slowly that I could see and feel every moment. The green necklace was placed around my neck, so pain shot immediately through my chest and stomach. My arms were yanked back in their sockets and my clothes were pulled off by unseen hands. I resisted weakly as Whitney tied me into place once again, kissing me hard on the lips before he dropped back down to the ground and vanished.
Once again, I was alone, stripped naked, hurting and cold, unable to move more than my fingers and toes, and all I could do was cry. I called for help, but my voice was swallowed up by the surrounding cornstalks.
"Clark?" a voice shouted to me from far away. At last, the tall green stalks parted, and out walked Lex, looking like he had that night so long ago.
"Help me," I begged once again. "I need you..."
His hands were warm as he ran them up my legs. "My god, Clark," he said, looking up at me with a wry smile, "do I always have to do everything for you?"
"Please," I urged, my voice raw with the cold as tears streamed down my face.
"Shhh, it's okay," he hushed, then let his eyes fall upon my penis, which hung right in front of his face. At once his hands were on me, warming my testicles and coaxing me erect despite the frigid temperature. "I'm here for you."
As soon as I was hard, he kissed the tip of my cock and pushed the foreskin out of the way, then took me gently into his mouth. All of my fear and pain disappeared along with my dick between his lips. I could feel the stroke of his tongue on me, as well as his fingers teasing my asshole and slipping inside me. Every sensation in my body was focused on his touch, and I moaned in desire.
He pulled away from me and looked up into my eyes. "Do you trust me, Clark?" he asked softly.
"I love you," I murmured.
"No, Clark. Do you want me to finish?"
"I can only finish you off if you trust me with all of your secrets."
"No, Lex, I can't!"
His hands dropped away from me, leaving me bereft. "Then I guess you're fucked, aren't you?" he replied with no anger at all, starting to step back into the cornfield.
"Lex!" I screamed to his departing back. Once he spun to look at me, I started babbling: "Anything... whatever you want--it's yours. I trust you. I'll tell you everything!"
At last, I earned his loving smile again. "Good," he answered, then returned to my side to release me from my cross. This time, he caught me as I fell and held me carefully, rubbing my back and squeezing me tight. "Thank you, baby. That's all I wanted to know." With a fond gaze, he brushed the tears from my cheeks. His mouth pushed into mine as he wrapped his right arm around my back and began stroking my cock with his left hand. My arousal had never faded, even when my wet penis was left hanging in the cold, but now my heart pounded, flooding my groin with new heat. Needing to breathe, I broke from his kiss and tried not to collapse in his arms, instead resting my head on his shoulder. "Come for me," his whispered into my ear. "I love you."
"I know," I groaned, then came messily against his coat.
I woke up gasping for breath and face down in my pillow, which was damp with tears, and still grinding my erection against the mattress despite the stickiness in my pajamas. Flipping my pillow to the dry side, I scooped it up and clutched it to my chest, trying to quiet my racing heartbeat. If I'd been younger, I'd have yelled for my mom, but I remembered that I was a big boy now and had to learn to stop crying by myself. I wasn't quite sure what part of my dream had upset me the most, but I was still distraught and alone.
Just then, my computer let out a ding--in my exhaustion, I'd forgotten to log off, and there was a new message in my box. Wiping my face with the heel of my hand, I scrambled out of the spoiled sheets and perched awkwardly on my desk chair.
Onscreen was a text message from Lex's phone, which read, "Gone to Edge City. If you're sober, I'll come by tomorrow with a surprise. Love you--L"
The troubling pictures from my dream, and the dark mood they provoked in my heart, dissipated like smoke on the breeze as I read his cheerful words. To my relief, I guessed that he had just written off my behavior to being high, and wasn't mad at me after all, for which I was extremely grateful. Banging out a quick "OK, CU, U2--C" reply, and knowing he'd let me explain everything later, I switched off my e-mail and put my computer, and myself (with a quick change of pajamas and sheets), to sleep.
Lex wasn't annoyed with me after all. While he wasn't with me, realizing that he was never very far away gave me some comfort until I could see him again. Now if I just understood exactly what my dream had been trying to tell me...
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